in response to anonymous

ahh finally back online :) our internet at home is down and so im at dan's brother and s.i.l's place. not just to use their internet- dont worry!

** remainder of post (in regards to previous post) deleted on july 6, 2009. go here for details**

friends and alcohol

**edited july 6, 2009**

i realize what an "up-roar" i caused with the post that was previously posted on this page. honestly, i had no intentions of "preaching" or pushing my rules and views on any of you. i had no intentions of hurting people or making them angry, and i definitely didnt intend to put people against me or to offend anyone. after having that post up for a few weeks and getting three anonymous commenters telling me where me and my thoughts could go, i decided to remove the post.

i realize that perhaps it wasnt my business and that maybe i should have kept my mouth shut. in my defence, i had no idea you guys even read my blog. its totally fine that you do- i was merely seeking help from others who read my blog and arent directly involved in the situation.

despite the fact that im removing the post, i am not taking those opinions back. i would have brought it up to your face, (like a few of you suggested i should have done) but quite honestly i feel i would have gotten a similar response. and i didnt really have any idea how to bring it up.

i think it was rather rude to suggest to me that i need to find new friends. and it was also rude of some of you to act all nice and friendly to my face and talk bad about me behind my back. people, if your so mad at me, why are you acting like im your friend? the only person who i can say did not do this was jon. and as weird as this may sound, im glad he didnt act all friendly to my face. i mean, yea of course it hurt that he acted like that to me, but at least i knew he was mad.

michelle and i were discussing it at work and our manager over heard. she pulled me aside and said, "jess, i know that right now having all your friends upset with you and telling you to find new friends may hurt and seem like a real crappy situation. but in a few years you'll look back and be glad that it happened because from this all, you'll figure out who you can trust and who your real friends are". and you know what?! she couldnt have been more right.

to anonymous 3: sure, people come up to you and say what a nice group it is and all that nice stuff. but they dont know the inside of the group. they dont know the dirt that really happens in the group. they dont know about the back stabbing, the chosing, the gossip, the drinking, the swearing.. all that stuff. right? and yes, every group has that. but dont try to butter the group up and make them sound all innocent and perfect. nobody comes even close to that!

if you all want to remain mad at me for this- okay. i once said i didnt ever want to be on the bad side of "the group" because they could be so rude and mean. well them being rude and mean was true. however, i think perhaps being on the bad side of it for a week or however long was maybe even good for me. it made me realize what kind of people i was actually spending time with. it made me think. and it made me force myself to stand behind my words, despite the fact that it was making people angry.

all in all, i decided losing friends over this wasnt worth it- although it did make me think and realize that perhaps some of you just arent worth trying over. maybe you all should think about this: if you have no problem talking bad about someone with other people in "the group", how do you know they arent talking bad about you behind your back?!

i hope removing this post has made you all happy. honestly, deleting it made me feel shitty. it made me feel like im not free to express my opinion on my own blog. and it made me feel like im not free to ask others, who arent directly involved in the situation, for help. and that really sucks.

and as a last note: if you dont like what you read on here.. dont read it. nobody is forcing you to come to this site and read what i write. and if you want honesty from me- you will find it here. its my little world to express how i feel about whatever i need to get off my chest.

and yes jon, perhaps i should get a journal- but i cant ask people for help and their opinions in a journal. and thats what i love so much about blogging.

- jess.

lalala, lalala, lalalalala ohhhh!

the last few days have been smudged into one big blur of memories. happy memories, that is. or well, mostly happy :) i worked every day so far this week which, to be honest- got to be slightly tiring. 'specially when you got a concussion. a self-proclaimed concussion that is ;) hey! its not just pulled out of my hat. its quite the possibility. i just havent had it doctor diagnosed yet. just jessica diagnosed :) and it happened at work, of all places. in between the two soup and sandwich stations is a cooler which contains all the meats, cheeses and cream cheese, etc. so anyways, i was on my side and i was leaning across the cooler to grab something. and this guy i work with was on his side and didnt see that i was leaning down in there cuz well, theres a shelf above it. so his view was blocked. now as a side note, these cooler lids are hard to close. as in, i always have to basically punch them hard in order to get it un-stuck. and i guess thats close to what he did. and he let it fall. on my head. and it really hurt. of course, he felt horrible and when he said sorry a bazillion times i just kept saying, "its fine!" and laughing so that i wouldnt cry. i felt like my head had officially split in two and that my brains (whatever was there in the beginning anyways..) had all toppled out. oh well. so yes, my reasoning behind this concussion is logical :) right?

anyhow, im not the only one with problems. dan had an ingrown toenail that he took to the walk-in clinic to get fixed yesterday. the doctor took a knife and made about four cuts and now dan has a disgusting chunk of skin missing and its covered in blood and yea.. gross. so we're a very... unhealthy(?!) couple right now. go us!

yesterday i helped his sister-in-law pack a few boxes. theyre moving to a new house tomorrow.. i think shes pretty excited. i definitely would be. minus the packing, cleaning, un-packing, more cleaning part. which i guess is basically all of it. im pretty skilled at moving, considering ive moved four times. of course, i was young for at least two of those times. and i only really remember packing myself for the last time. well okay.. not packing myself. i meant packing my stuff all by myself. it makes me proud :) of myself lol

today we went out with amy and mr. x. he will remain nameless until further happenings. if happenings occur.. we shall see. anyways, we went bowling :) i lost both times. not to worry. i had fun. and bowled like a "cool kid". as in a sat on the ground and bowled between my legs. yup, im cool :) and had fun being cool too! then we went to tim hortons and then yea.. the rest is history ;) ill post pictures one day. when i get them from her. (i forgot my camera :( bad me.)

2mrw is the word and deed baseball tourny. M1 and M2 are both playing in it. so maybe ill go cheer them on. else i could always go help the "s.i.l 2 be" go move. itll be fun cuz im guessing the entire family will be there. yay for family :)

amy just updated her status to: amy ... had an awesome time tonight :) yay for awesome friends!!! glad she had fun :) so did i! now im off to get the entire scoop from her and then off to bed.

night y'all!

a quick note to jen

dear jen
i miss you
come home!
please?
love jess

ps. cant wait till the 24th :)

diy from design*sponge

i saw this neat idea on a blog i read occasionally. it has lots of diy projects and before and afters of people's houses and furniture and other things like that. ive even told you about it before here. anyways, so i found this and just thought id share it with you. if you'd like to find out more, go check it out. and if you end up making something like this, definitely let me know! :) enjoy!!

a quick note to amy

amy

i wanted to write something about how extremely excited i am that you're out here for good now and about how happy i am that you may have finally found a good person, and not a complete jerk. but after starting this post like.. three times, i decided to just write this instead. and then let you know that we must go out and do something some time super soon so that i can tell you in person exactly how glad i am about everything for you :) i really hope that now that you're living out here, we can become the best friends we once were- all over again. this summer wasnt looking so promising until i realized that you're going to be out here for all of it!! and that just made me smile :)

so.. lets hangout. soon. and lets start making memories. again. and lets make all our dreams come true. together.

love jess

ps. you should try blogging instead of just reading my blog :P

ill even let you use mine if you wanna try for a while.. :)

and so, here i am

dan has lots of family. im not even talking about his aunts, uncles, cousins, cousins kids etc.. im talking about his immediate family. his family has nine kids, dan being one of them. his parents have six girl grandchildren and then the two boy grandchildren- twins at that. so you can imagine that with all those little kids, i get quite the babysitting jobs sometimes.

take now for instance. im sitting at his brother and sister-in-laws place. the three kids are in bed. not quite sleeping, since i can hear one of the boys playing with the blinds beside his bed.

im not 100% sure what im going to be doing while his brother and s.i.l are out voting wither or they want uniforms or no.. in fact, i have ZERO idea. but dans on his way and i suppose sooner or later we will end up watching a movie or so. or perhaps whichever boy is awake will wake the other one (since they share a room) and then we will have our hands full. especially if they wake up their sister. that cud turn out real interesting!

well.. here's dan. wish us luck!! :)

**/edited june 16, 2009/**

last night sure did turn out interesting. to say the least! twin #1 started crying. loudly. so i snuck in their to give him his bottle. except then twin brother #2 also wakes up and together they send out a chorus of loud wailing. dan just stood by the door, cringing with his hands over his ears. when i ran out of that room he gave me a look that was 100% i told you so. of course, they ended up waking their sister, who, when i went to check on her, started crying and wanted her mom. great. just great. of course, when i told her that she had to go back to sleep, she just cried harder. and eventually she threw up. on purpose. yum. eventually dan and i decided that enough was enough so we put her in bed, told her to stop crying, and went downstairs. it didnt work. half an hour later she was still crying. so i went back up there and the minute i stepped in her room, i wanted to run. it smelt horribly. she had barfed all over her bed, pj's and hair. so i called dan and after much coaxing he came up to help me. he took the sheets off while his niece sat on the floor with this pleased as punch look on her face. brat. i found some new sheets and a quilt and re-made her bed. then dan suggested a bath. within half a second flat her pants were off and she was standing by the bathtub, waiting for us to fill it for her. she loves baths. after an hour and a half of sitting in bubbles that are "proven to help children sleep easier".. we pulled the plug. dan kept asking her, "when are you coming out of the bath". and she would look up at him and say, "when theres no more water!" in this cute voice. so finally he pulled the plug while her back was turned. and then for the rest of the night she sat there watching a movie with us. she absolutely refused to go to bed, despite the fact that she was basically asleep on the couch. man is she stubborn!!

so yea.. me not knowing what i was going to do while the kids slept turned into a me wishing the kids had kept sleeping. and me wishing i had listened to dan and let twin #1 just cry himself to sleep. maybe then dans niece would have continued to sleep!

oh well. i am now richer than i would have been had i been sitting at home.

and i still want kids :)

so does dan. but he said he only wants one at a time (lol) and one that listens to him extremely well.

dont we all?! :)

june 12- mini roadtrip

instead of giving me a birthday present, dan decided to take me on a mini road trip to waterton on june 12th- our 15 month dating anniversary :) so, around lunch time on said date, dan came to pick me up and we headed out to waterton. we drove through prairie and native reserve and through the foothills before the mountains and finally, the mountains. and- just because- i sat in the middle of the truck the whole way up there :) talk about romantic! ;) oh. and i totally ate chips that he thought smelt and tasted gross. so he refused to kiss me. not so romantic. but hey, doesnt mean i didnt try to steal a kiss or two!

anyways. this is cameron lake. it was our first destination. its a lake approximately 10 miles from the town of waterton. its way up in the mountains. and, there was still ice! dan figured the water was no more than 1 degree! and only that because the whole lake wasnt ice- just near shore. and it was kinda slushy ice. a man even kayaked through it.

on our way back from cameron lake, we came across a bear! dont worry. we were in our truck. MY truck! (i wish.) i was pretty excited that i saw a brown bear. but dan insists that it wasnt a brown bear. it was a "cinnamon black bear". sheesh! technicalities aside, i saw a bear :)

and we also saw a mountain goat. which dan claims was a "nice goat" and if he would have been able to hunt within the park, this one would be no more. hunters these days!

next stop- boat tour. i got to be seventeen years old again since it was half price ($17.00 for 17 and under, $34 for 18 and up! crazy!). the tour took approximately two hours and it went from one end of the lake (in waterton, alberta) to the other end (in goat haunche, montana!). it was pretty cool. the only bummer was we didnt really see any exciting wild life. as in, no bears or moose :( oh well.

during our 25 minute stop over in goat haunche, we took a picture of us on the beach :) i had a great idea that, since this was the last boat tour of the day, we should just "accidentally" miss the boat and stay there for the night. that was until dan showed me the proof that a bear had been very close in the area not too long ago. then i decided there was no way i was staying there for the night.

after the boat we went for supper at a lounge so we could watch the stanley cup game. or well, part of it. (wasnt that hot pink suit NASTY!?!!) i had a blt which was basically just the "l" since half of it had no "b" and half a piece of "t" while the other part had the "b" "l" and "t". 'twas odd but yummy :) i love small towns. we went for a walk after supper to get some ice cream and there was a radio guy doing his radio show live there so there was live music outside and it was just so peaceful and cool and "close knit".

after our walk we drove up to red rock canyon. the mosquitos there caused us only to stay long enough to get like.. four pictures. i decided to share this one with you :)

and finally we pulled out of waterton, making two more stops on our way home. our first stop was to the "bison enclosure". its a huge fenced in area between the foothills and you can just drive in and see the buffalo's in their natural habitats. its cool. we found a herd of at least twenty grazing by a small lake of water. and then we found this buffalo and his friend taking a snooze elsewhere. lucky me got this great picture just as he looked up to check us out :)

our final stop of the day was at the old man resivoire. theres a HUGE dam there and the water level difference on either side of the dam is quite amazing. and shocking.

by the time we made it home we were both quite tired and ready for some sleep. the day was great though. one i would definitely like to repete.

not only did i get to spend an entire day with dan.. i also got to cross one more thing off my "thirty till may 2010" list. :)

a replacement for the withered

i bought these roses for my mom for mother's day a while back and she was so happy with them :) she still has them, despite the fact that they're dead and all bent over. she still keeps them in her white vase on the coffee table. however, last week thursday was my payday. i took my cheque to the bank, took out enough money for my mom that i am now out of debt!!! and then went to pick a new boquet of flowers out for my mom. now her dead roses have been moved to the side table (she claims she doesnt have the heart to throw them out!) and her new ones dominate the coffee table.

i absolutely love that last picture :) and i love my mom! ♥

mini road-trip

jessica is going on a mini road-trip today with dan!

ill have pictures for you some time soon! :)

stephanie fay

meet stephanie fay. not only is she gorgeous, but shes extremely talented at photography. i was reading j*'s blog when i found the link to stephanie fay's. i clicked on it and almost immediately fell in love with her style of photography. check out these amazing pictures of hers:

from what ive gathered she specializes in weddings but also does pregnancy photos, baby photos and just any time photos. whatever the case is, they're all unique and pretty cool!

from this couple's photo series, this one wasnt my favorite. however, i wanted to show to you the setting of the picture. that blue dumpster. thats what i love about her pictures. she has photo shoots in some of the oddest, most strangest places ever!

i love the boldness of that blue wall and the contrast of the more modern color with the old window :)

go check out stephanie fay on her blog!

www.stephaniefayblog.com

a pictureful june 09

i woke up, happy i had a day off and had the chance to sleep in. like usual, i had no plans for my day. however, when sitting at breakfast with dad, mom and oma, i learned that dad and oma were planning on going for a drive out west. i asked mom if she was going but she said she didnt feel like sitting in the back all day and not being able to really hear the dutch conversation taking place in the front. so i thought about it for a few seconds and then thought, hey why dont i go too?!. so once that was decided, the four of us packed up and headed out with the plan of being home by 3:30pm.

so we went to this lake (i have no idea what its called) and drove around the campgrounds there, talking about which site we would use if we ever pull our trailer up there for a weekend. mom wanted the ones closer to the lake. dad wanted one higher up the mountain so that he could have "a view"! i told dad there was no way i was going to bike down a mountain to the lake and then bike all the way back up just for his view!"

i just had to get a picture of dad with his hat on sideways. it was so the brim of the hat would cover his ear (he just had surgery on it). but still.. it looked kinda funny :)

on our way out of the park we saw a deer at a watering hole. turns out there were four more on the other side of the road. and later another buck joined him. so we literally sat there for like, twenty minutes...

... before this moose came crashing in!! so we ended up sitting there approximately another twenty minutes, hoping that maybe a bear would come join them?! no such luck. so we left. but hey, you never know! dad said theres bears in those woods!

then at night.. oma decided to take us out to tony romas again for supper! except this time shane even joined us :) we took pictures again..

i promise dan and i arent the only weird ones!!! i mean hey, look at this:

told ya ;)

all in all it was quite a wonderful day! despite the fact that it was kinda rainy. i even more my wonderful rain boots :) and then a guy pointed at them and goes to his girlfriend, "look at her stupid boots! i hope u never wear something like that!!" haha it made me happy :) i like my boots. besides, dan said her shirt was super low so that everyone could see her tattoo going down into who knows where! and he said "i hope you never ever do something or wear something like THAT!" so there lady! :P

have a great day!

turning eighteen

monday: i had zero birthday plans. i figured that five of my friends were out of town anyways and that, since oma was out from holland, i would just spend my birthday at home with the family, dan and possibly shane.

tuesday: dan and i decided to go to coco pazzo (an italian restaurant) for supper. we decided to text whoever was left in town to see if they wanted to join us.

thursday: made reservations for twenty!!!

saturday: eighteen people showed up to celebrate my eighteenth birthday!! :)

june 6, 2009. michelle, melanie, connie, me, jacqueline

i realized once again just how lucky i am to have such amazing friends!

id like to thank everyone who showed up as well as thank the many people who sent my birthday wishes :)

the diy revealed! (just for you, jacinda!)

so.. its not completely done. as in it still needs to be secured together properly. but i decided to just go ahead and tell you what it is anyways :) only because jacinda said she hates suspense :P so im being nice to her! :)

so what do you get when you take this pile of supplies..

and this special piece of board, painted black?

you get this:

a chalkboard set into a door frame!!!

thats right! the black paint is actually special chalkboard paint from the benjamin moore paint store. and it works wonders :)

not to mention how lucky i was finding this door frame for only $7!!

its second hand and needs some touch ups on the stain in areas such as the hinges and where the door knob use to be. but you cant complain about a $7.00 door frame. not even a little bit!

now all thats left to do is put trim on the back of the chalkboard, which will hold it in place. and then re-stain the door, taking special care to cover the inside of the door knob hole, and the bare hinged areas.

so.. what do you think!? you going to make one now?!?!

ill be honest. i stole this idea from somewhere else. from here:

and im still debating wither or not i want to paint the frame a different color.. but now you at least know what it is :) ill share the final pictures once i get it completely finished. im not promising it will be soon tho!

as for tonight, its lee's engagement party. and i get to take lots of pictures. she asked me if i could take pictures of all sorts of their wedding things for her. for memories cuz she'll be too busy to stop and take pictures. i said "id love to!" and i totally would love to. it even gave me a wedding gift idea. but in case she reads this, i wont say what the idea was :P

and today, june 3rd, im thankful for life. not only for my own life, but for the life of these little guys:

arent they just adorable?!

continuing my diy project

i havent worked on a diy project in quite a while and tonight, after supper, i found myself to be in quite the mood. remember this? well i decided to pick up where i left off. allow me to give you yet another sneek peek at what this project will turn out to be. one day.

est and bre and ontario and missing them

i was invited to the rcs grade 12 grad celebration. i would have been graduating with them, but am not. which is okay. however, part of me wants to go super bad. another part of me wants to just stay home and save my money. but then i found this under bre's pictures on facebook:

and it made me homesick for those crazy girls in ontario.

i miss jeb and our crazy trampoline nights at bre's- making sparks with our fingers and laughing b/c we could see them spark in the dark.

playing sims with bre almost every saturday afternoon. all afternoon.

making fun of becky with est.

working with bre every week.

our video nights and sleepovers. and me wanting to watch sound of music b/c i figured it would keep me awake. cept i ended up falling asleep.

me not even getting to say "bye" to bre cuz she wouldnt wake up after our all nighter.

the memory book bre and est put together for me that is now under my bed and looked at quite often. i think i cried when they gave it to me. and quite honestly, im almost crying now.

"hair in my eyes like a highland steer"

and the quotes in that memory book: "We are very sorry if this scrapbook has caused people in Alberta to think we're insande weirdos, causing them to think you are too, there by leaving you with no friends! But if anyone doesnt want to be your friend, tell them to give us a call. We will take care of it. And if you ever get bullied..." "And if you are ever sad you must remember that we are there for you in Ontario." "Jess.. when you are sad, upset, thirsty, unhappy, disappointed, in tears, mad, angry, steaming, laughing, cyring, screaming, bawling, hungry, hyper, laid back, tired, excited, hurting, constipated, sick, barfing, or JUST PLAIN BORED, look at these pictures. They will probly make you laugh."

** sorry for posting that picture, ladies. hope you dont get too mad**

tim hortons camp day!

camp day. an annual tim hortons "holiday". this year, our tim hortons held camp day on june 3rd. in other words- today. and it was great :) the turn out (so far, seeing as its only 1:30) was amazing. the amount of money being raised to help send underpriviledged kids to camp: unbelievable. the number of volunteers- approximately twenty! (and that was just when i was there!). yup. i think its safe to say that this years tim hortons camp day will be a great success. and you can help! all you have to do is go to your local tim hortons on their camp day and buy a coffee. a coffee? yes! thats it. because all the money made on coffee's on your tim hortons camp day goes to help sending kids to camp! so go get a coffee!!

this year i wasnt scheduled to work for camp day. so i got up at quarter to seven and headed in to work to volunteer. and boy was it ever worth it! not to mention fun :) yes, i realize i wear my hat low. but honestly, it doesnt bother me. and i never noticed until this picture! lol

the drive-thru team was still getting timed so, they were scrambling around, trying to get things together. fast.

and the army arrived to help!!! we had a few soldiers inside, pouring coffees or handing things out the drive-thru window. there were also a few guys helping with the car window wash. and there were a few standing at a table by their truck, dressing up kids and taking pictures! thanks for showing up guys!!

we also had free face painting for younger kids (donations obviously accepted!) the kids loved it!

*** for more information on tim hortons camp day, go to http://www.timhortons.com/ca/en/about/news_archive_2004a.html ***

- please note that this article is from 2004. however, the information is still correct! -

girls night out

lee. rox. rach. me. sus. june 2nd. starbucks

so last night was our graduating class of '09 "girls night out"! we spent it at starbucks talking about lee's engagement (naturally) and other things that have happened in our lives since grad. somehow everyones lives have changed, even within just one month!

lee is getting married to calv in september. so right now they're busy planning a wedding, looking for a house, and searching for some cheap furniture.

rox is working on her nursing course and is still working at the old age home. she says she misses me b/c now she hardly gets a weekend off! haha!

rach is still at tim hortons but bought a car :) although the guy who sold it to her lied about the year, id say its still a pretty nifty sunfire :)

and sus has every intention of heading out to ontario for a few months sometime within the summer. shes still working as a waitress. making great tips, i might add! i know where im applying next!!

it was nice getting together with them again and just being "us". i hope that each and everyone of their futures turns out for the best :)

love you girls!! xox ♥

"M3"

yes, M3 knits. and he quite enjoys it! even asked oma to bring him knitting needles!

im pretty sure i absolutely love my littlest brother alot.

especially when he randomly brings me milk (without me asking him to!) and then tops it off by bringing me a peppermint as well (even though they come from mom's candy cupboard and she has no idea!! :))

and this is what i get when i try taking a picture of him in his handsome sunday clothes.

boys!