to that friend

so naturally, because today is april fools day i was going to write a paragraph or so on my april fools memories how i was never sure if aprils fools day actually ended at lunch time or if that was just a rule teachers made up to get out of it... who knows eh?

however, when i got home to check my facebook i noticed my friend of three years had deleted me. and that hurt. we havent been talking since saturday because of a silly arguement we got into. and while i still think it was right of me to say what i did, i had no intention of causing her to never talk to me again.

i logged onto facebook planning on following my other friends advice. he said to apologize to her, even though i thought i was right. that would leave making up in her playing field and if she chose to ignore my apology, that would be up to her. i would have done what i could. but then to discover i cant even apologize because not only did she delete me, but she blocked me too!

i just want to say the following to her:

im sorry. im very very sorry, in fact, and i wish now that i had kept my mouth shut and that i had kept my feelings inside of me. i did not mean for our friendship to turn into nothing with in a few short days. im extremely sorry i hurt your feelings.

ever since those memories we made at tim hortons, weve been pretty close. when you quit and went to walmart, i spent my saturday mornings there, talking to you for hours. and then when you went to the mall, i came to visit you and have lunch with you. i was there for you through those boyfriends and i still want to be there for you through any other ones you may ever have in your future. i dont want this arguement to separate us, much like the two hour living distance that is now between us. i still want to make memories with you. i still want to text you and skate with you. i want you at my grad all dressed up and beautiful. i want you to come party with me after grad. i want to play wii with you and i want you to laugh at me when i pull my arm muscle just from doing yoga. i wanna drive around with you in your car, with the windows rolled down, our sunglasses on and the music blaring. i want to rate people with you. i want to write radio stations for you. i want to try help you solve your problems. i want to laugh at you and with you. i want to groan in disbelief when you do unbearably funny yet cheesy things. i want to chuckle over cat ladies disgusting animal room. i want to share my secrets with you. i want you to be there for me when i think i may be in serious trouble.

every time my phone viabrates i look over, hoping to see your name. but im not. and im waiting.

i luv you. xoxox